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Crazy lady tips:
1. Clear out your wardrobe. All you need from now on is one threadbare nightie, maybe a robe.
2. Say it with me: Shoes are for sane people.
3. Shampoo? Not for you. In fact, feel free to adorn your hair with small twigs, dead leaves, or even animal bones.
4. Make-up: You’re going for the red eyes of a demon dog, and the dark circles of an exhausted mother of four. Be sure to accentuate those hollow cheeks.
5. Practice your hysterical cackle and, if possible, adopt a twitch or itch.
6. Do not trust other women. They are out to steal your man (or other object of desire). Instead, befriend inanimate objects.
7. At any given moment, you should be no more than one step away from murder or suicide.
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