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*at some kind of fancy event*
Shazam: *about to go in on the free wine*
Batman: *taking the glass out of his hand* No.
Shazam: aw
Rest of the Justice League: ???
Adult woman journalist: *flirting with Shazam*
Shazam: *flirting back*
Batman, physically towing him away: nope no absolutely not
Shazam: *finally gets ahold of a glass of wine & takes a sip*
Shazam: ………..
Shazam: *discreetly spits the wine back into the glass*
Flash, watching from across the room: ok what the fuck
Fourteen year old: *flirting with Shazam*
Shazam: *flirting back*
Several members of the Justice League: *staring in horror*
Batman, ignoring Nightwing’s laughter: I will. Have a talk with him.
Diana: [steps in front of the 14-year-old and about to fist fight Shazam]
Batman: “maybe it’s time we tell them…”
Diana: Shazam we require a vehicle of some sort
Shazam: The thing is, I don’t exactly have a car
Flash: What?
Shazam: Or a license
Flash: Uhh
Shazam: Or a job
Flash: What??
Shazam: Or an alternate identity. Not in the ways you guys do.
Flash: ???
Shazam: I also don’t do my taxes
Flash, jumping to a conclusion: so uhhhh… do you have a place to sleep tonight? Is that a thing you need? Cause you can probably crash on my couch-
Batman, who wasn’t there five seconds ago: if anyone’s going to adopt Shazam, it will be me.
Shazam: aw, thanks! 🙂 I don’t need it, but thanks both of you for the offer!
Flash, ten hours later, wide awake in bed: okay but what SENSE did he mean “adopt” in, because I really don’t like where this is going
Yiexoudxuw YES @jackhawksmoor
Looooooool the dissonance is equally funny and horrifying.
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