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child-abuse-isnt-sexy:

Honestly, one of the more disturbing things to me about the tumblr MAP community is how loudly and proudly they declare that they can spend time around children without hurting them, because they have self control.

Like… I dunno, man, but I feel like it’s better to not put yourselves in situations where offending would be possible, or even easy?

Loads of offending pedophiles never meant to hurt a kid either. They “didn’t mean to”, they “didn’t want to”, they “never planned on it”, they “never wanted to hurt anybody”.

But you know what? They PUT themselves in situations where they could offend in the first place. They had kids, they volunteered with children’s charities or sports teams, they worked at a school or a daycare, they made friends with the neighbor’s daughter. They wouldn’t have had the chance to offend if they hadn’t put themselves in a place where they could have access to children, and get away with it.

There’s different types of offenders – sadistic ones, and manipulative, passive aggressive ones. The sadistic ones are less common, and would just kidnap a kid and do whatever. But most pedophiles groom their victims – that is, they have the opportunity to become CLOSE to their victim, to spend TIME around their victim. Saying “but even if they’re never around kids, some pro-contact maps would just kidnap one” is willfully blind to the fact that 93% of CSA victims are hurt by someone they know. The MAJORITY of child sexual abusers are able to do it – and excuse it to themselves – because they are around children, and the opportunity presents itself.

And honestly? Who the fuck REALLY trusts themselves that much?! Who honestly, really, truly believes in their self control to that extent? I mean, fuck, dude, I have self control, but if you gave me ten million dollars a year and access to potato chips and take-out chow fun for every meal, I’d probably make at least one bad decision.

Pedophiles on here seem to think that “it’ll be fine, because I’m a good person, with morals and self control” is enough to justify their being around children. No. You can not put children in active danger as part of your fucked up, don’t-eat-the-m&m’s self control experiment. And sure, you don’t want to hurt kids, and you trust yourself. But do you trust yourself 110%, more than any regular human being trusts themselves? And why should anyone trust you, anyway?

If someone was in a room full of people they hate, and the people were restrained, I still wouldn’t let them have a gun, soundproof the room, and close the door. Even if they promised that they don’t want to murder people, that they think murder is wrong, that they’d never murder anyone ever. They could absolutely mean it 100%, and still wind up killing everyone. Humans aren’t actually perfect and morally unwavering, you know.

It’s just sick to me how they’ll swear up and down that it’s fine for them to be around kids, because they don’t want to hurt kids and they have self control. The majority of offending pedophiles would say the same thing about themselves. The majority of offending pedophiles never meant to hurt kids, they never planned on it, they never wanted to. But they did. And they had the opportunity. They were in a situation where they had that kind of access to children, where they groomed a kid or ten and told themselves it was fine. Even though they swore they never would.

MAPS – your word simply isn’t good enough. No one’s word is good enough when it comes to that sort of thing. Temptation exists, and all your self control and more is not necessarily enough to overcome that. Because you’re humans. And that’s a basic fact of fucking life – humans will often succumb to temptation, especially if it’s made easy and/or readily available.

Surrounding yourself with children is asking for disaster. And I don’t fucking believe that you guys – pedophiles – happen to be the one group of people on earth with self control strong enough to resist all temptation. Especially when so many offending pedophiles start out just like you, bright eyed and bushy tailed and sure that their habit of being surrounded by children is completely harmless, because they don’t mean to offend. They aren’t planning on it, and they never want to.

Until they do.

You might mean it, and you might even truly never offend. But that does NOT mean that you’re safe, and it doesn’t mean that your good intentions are good enough when it comes to children’s safety.

So stop fucking doing this shit. Treat yourselves like how normal people treat themselves with regards to unhealthy temptations. Stay away from children. Stop trotting out your self-control and objection to harm as if they’re infallible and guaranteed. You’re putting yourselves in situations where you could offend, and get away with it. And you know it. Any reasonable human being knows it.

You don’t take an alcoholic and place him in a room full of booze just to see that he can resist it. Everyone knows that that’s a stupid fucking idea. Even if he has the all-mighty Self Control.

Stop clinging to the idea that you can spend time around children and it’ll be fine. You don’t KNOW that it will, no matter how much you want to. And deep down, you know that. You know that you aren’t a bunch of stunning exceptions to human nature and basic behavioral psychology. You know that morals and intentions aren’t always enough.

But you do it anyway, and you brag about it like you’re a three year old who passed his developmental self-control test by not eating the m&m’s for fifteen whole minutes. Congrats, you haven’t offended yet, and you don’t mean to in the future. But you’re a full-grown adult, and that’s not good enough.

Stop endangering children.

Stop putting them at risk, stop insisting that you’re not a risk. Intentions aren’t magical.

If you want to protect children, stay away from them. Stop making excuses, stop doing it anyway. That’s exactly the steps that offending pedophiles take when they tell themselves that what they’re doing is okay. You’re not preventing abuse, you’re not the pinnacle of self control. You’re just practicing for your future.

You didn’t mean to.
You never planned to.
You didn’t want to.

But you’ve had your excuses down since you started hanging around kids, and god damn it, you’ll keep making them.

Who cares about kids, man? At least you have ~self control~. And after all, that’s all we need.