best-of-funny:

justmyflawedlogic:

oliviastarshippp:

lokisgloriouspenis:

okay today i learned that apparently the penis has a say in whether or not a child will be a boy or a girl

female sperm swims slower than male sperm, but the males can’t swim for as long as the females. this means that a long penis will be closer to the egg when releasing the sperm, and there will be a higher chance for the child to be a boy.

so in conclusion

if you have a lot of sons you have a big dick

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FUCK WHAT KIND OF POST IS THIS

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To be fair, Henry did overcompensate by wearing a fabulous codpiece…look it up.