facts-i-just-made-up:

metalheadadam:

facts-i-just-made-up:

metalheadadam:

facts-i-just-made-up:

metalheadadam:

facts-i-just-made-up:

metalheadadam:

facts-i-just-made-up:

metalheadadam:

facts-i-just-made-up:

A mother helicopter tends to her newborn.

I wish you’d do some research before just spouting out any old crap. If you took two seconds just to LOOK at the picture, you’d see that it’s not a mother and her newborn. You can tell from the size and position of the rotors that it’s actually a hunting male. Also it’s a commonly known fact that whilst all helicopters are born with red tails, this fades to white in males, by the time they’ve reached adulthood. In females, the red has changed to a deep brown.

So this isn’t a lovely picture of caring parenting – in fact, this young ‘copter’s mother is probably dead, herself. There would be no way she’d leave her baby by itself at such a young age. The poor thing likely died mere moments after this picture was taken.

Have some respect.

You ignorant fool.

The common Red Tailed Boeing you’re basing your analysis on is endemic to Saudi Arabia, which has no climate zones even remotely resembling that in the picture. Helicopters being short range vehicles, there’s no way a Red Tail could be present in the picture above.

What you’re seeing is the red tailed variety of the Arboreal Russian UTair, which you’d know if you so much as looked at the distinctive markings on the parent’s flank.

The photo is a mother tending to her newborn as I stated, and you Sir have defamed the endangered helicopter with your inept observations. People like you who think Helicopters are dangerous hunting animals are why these noble beasts have been scrapped to near extinction. Arguments like yours are used to support the helicopter “blading” industry, in which millions of helicopters every year are deprived of their rotor blades and left to die of oil loss or starvation.

Support your local anti-blading protest group, and don’t listen to people like metalheadadam, if that’s even your real tumblr url.

No,it is you who are the fool here. You say it’s an arboreal helicopter, but no Russian Utair has ever been spotted out in the open in a tarmac environment before, and I think if this was the first photograph showing one, there’d have been some fanfare about it in National Helo-graphic.

I believe that what we can see here is the Lesser-Spotted Longbow, which, as has been very well-documented, has adapted itself superbly to urban life, and has also been known to disguise itself as other types of helicopter, in order to better stalk its prey. If you look at the smugness of the nose, you’ll see I’m right. Yes, the UTair is a peaceful contraption, but the LSL is a rapacious fiend, and should be removed from the world’s airspace completely.

You’re ignoring the clear signs here but the more important issue is your sickening disregard and characterization of the LSL as a “rapacious fiend.”

The LSL is a critical part of the airspace ecosystem. If there were no LSLs, then Piasecki H-21s would quickly grow out of control and soon the air would be downright cluttered with them. Do you want to live in a world where Piasecki noise sounds through the night at deafening levels? Where they land on the streets as you drive and on schoolyards where your children play?

Lesser-Spotted Longbows may seem dangerous but the fact is they kill less than five people a year across the globe. Piaseckis kill 80! And they crap all over the windshields of all those unfortunate enough to drive beneath them. Even still, we should not cull Piaseckis as some suggest, their meat is inferior and no significant research is to be done on their flesh. You’re operating from an old world point of view here, one that says mankind has the right, nay the duty to hunt and tame helicopters.

But the truth is, helicopters are our neighbors on this planet and they have every bit as much a right to it as we do. Support prohibition of industrial helicopter use, police helicopters and circus helicopters. Don’t eat helicopter meat. And donate generously to PETH, People for the Ethical Treatment of Helicopters.

Listen, PETH claim to be in support of helicopter freedom, but if you look at the statistics, you’ll see that is, in fact, a gigantic lie. People brought 652 sick helicopters into PETH’s “Care Hangars” last year, where PETH claim to repair and repaint them, and find them new owners. Of those 652, PETH dismantled and recycled 635 of them within one day, without even trying to find new owners for them.

You say we should support the prohibition of circus and police helicopters, but without the industries that have grown up around the many useful ways helicopters benefit our society, there would be many more wild helicopters, like the Piaseckis, in our skies, or roosting on the roofs of our homes and schools.

But that’s getting off topic. The LSL is still a menace, and although it helps to control the Piasecki population, there are other, more efficient ways to do that, without relying on the crudeness of nature.

Opening up factories to make clothes from helo skins, for example. Faux-helo has been all the rage on the catwalks for the last three years, and the designers have stated that they’d “love to get [their] hands on the real thing”. Paul McTarnabag said that “without the limitations of artificial fibres, [he] could create the most wonderful coats you’d ever see”.

Let’s be honest, here. Yes, it may involve some violent, painful deaths for certain, more… annoying breeds, but helicopters are basically vermin. Let’s make use of them.

“The crudeness of nature”

You lost me there. Nature is a perfect system where helicopters are concerned. It’s only humanity that throws the system out of balance. Before we came along, helicopters existed in equilibrium.

As seen in the opening of Disney’s “The Concorde King,” there’s a circle of life. Concordes and SR-71s prey upon the big 747s and Airbuses. Those in turn eat the Cessnas and puddle-hoppers, which feed on smaller helicopters and gyrocopters. When the Concordes die, they become fossil fuels which become jet fuels and which fuel the gyrocopters.

But when mankind tinkers with the system, it all goes haywire. A few rivet coats and meals of spicy Apache or Black Hawk aren’t worth it. And that’s not to mention the cruelty of foods like Chinook Gras, in which the noble aircraft are force-fueled to the point of illness so their filters can be harvested. Humankind needs to get out of the chopper business for good and focus on renewable sources of 3D printed parts and vegan alternatives, like Balloons, Zeppelins and Blimps. Human stomachs aren’t meant for heavier-than-air travel, as turbulence can convince anyone. Only lighter than air craft are meant for our fragile systems.

This is all a moot point for me as I don’t fly at all. I prefer a more natural means of transport- The whip driven dog-sled.

You reference The Concorde King, but you seem to have forgotten that in that very film, the LSLs sided with the Concorde King’s evil brother, Cracked Aileron, to bring him down and kill his family. Some contraptions just have no natural place in the ‘circle of life’. Besides, you’ve got to take Disney films with a pinch of degreaser (or salt, seeing as you seem to insist on it being “wrong to eat helicopter parts”). Don’t you remember the scandal surrounding their paper plane ‘documentary’? You must know the one, it’s where they set up footage showing thousands of paper planes throwing themselves over cliffs, to go soggy and disintegrate in the water. It was even taught in schools for a long time after it was made, until the truth came out; Disney had faked the whole thing. They got footage of the paper planes gliding gracefully over some small ridges, then cut to a long shot of a cliff – carefully hiding the guy at the top, with a broom, brushing thousands of innocent PPs over the side. So please, don’t trust something just because Disney made a bunch of catchy songs about it. Anyway, The Concorde King is pretty much just Hamlet, but with aircraft.

But all of this is ignoring the real issue here. You’re being very idealistic about humanity’s interaction with helos, whereas you should be realistic. We’ve already messed with the helo ecosystem, and screwed it up beyond repair. It wasn’t so bad at first, when it was just man vs. machine, one hunter armed only with an unguided blunderSAM, but it’s a fact of life that we NEED to keep helos in captivity, as there simply aren’t enough of the rare species left to rebuild their populations in the wild. Besides, they like it in captivity. There’s always someone to play with, and they get taught interesting tricks. Helos are amazing at balancing atop a large ball, something that in the wild, they’d never have the opportunity to do. Breed them, then feed them, to us. At least that way, their populations can regrow.

I too am a pragmatist but I believe the fate of the helicopters must be settled out in the wild. Consider the story of this little Bell 47, as related by chopper spokesman Arnold Schwarzenegger:

Bell 47 was built in 1975 by the US Navy. Bell 47 performed admirably in all its tasks, mostly moving people from ship to ship. Everyone who flew the Bell thought it was a happy craft, it was well fueled, treated with respect and love, and more.

But one day the Bell began to wilt. Its tail drooped, its blades sagged, and it refused to fly. Normally the Navy would scrap the chopper, but those who loved it felt it was better to release it into the wild to give it a few last days of freedom. But Bell didn’t die in a few days. As soon as it was in the wild, the helicopter flourished and recovered.

If you wander the woods around Indianapolis, you might still see Bell 47 fluttering about, and not fluttering alone. Bell encountered a Mosquito XE Ultralight a few years back and the two mated, giving birth to no less than 45 unmanned drones. Those drones formed an ecosystem of their own, feeding on the RC Copters that plague the area. In only one decade, that part of the world changed and changed for the better, all because of one Bell 47.Imagine freedom for all helicopters. It can happen today. If only you would hop on board. Mind the rotor blades when you do, or they’ll chop your head off.

Yes, but that’s just one, isolated incident, a freak occurence. People have tried releasing other helos into the wild since then, but they didn’t fare as well. Most had no idea how to hunt, and ended up causing massive amounts of property damage as they tried to stalk cars and buses. Most also died of malnutrition, having only managed to catch the odd moped here or there. I’m imagining a future where all helos are free, and it’s going to give me nightmares.

That’s just pure virulent vehiclism! It’s clear now that you see helicopters as inferior and incapable of living on their own. Had I known you were a vehiclist I’d never have replied to you to begin with. And you know what? I didn’t say it before because it’s nobody’s business but you know how I know helicopters can make it on their own? Because of my family:

That’s right. I AM A HELICOPTER.

How do you feel now???