theotherstuffblog:

nerfherdingteleporter:

:

frostbittenbucky:

zorilleerrant:

penny-anna:

penny-anna:

penny-anna:

*at some kind of fancy event*

Shazam: *about to go in on the free wine*

Batman: *taking the glass out of his hand* No.

Shazam: aw

Rest of the Justice League: ???

Adult woman journalist: *flirting with Shazam*

Shazam: *flirting back*

Batman, physically towing him away: nope no absolutely not

Shazam: *finally gets ahold of a glass of wine & takes a sip*

Shazam: ………..

Shazam: *discreetly spits the wine back into the glass*

Flash, watching from across the room: ok what the fuck

Fourteen year old: *flirting with Shazam*

Shazam: *flirting back*

Several members of the Justice League: *staring in horror*

Batman, ignoring Nightwing’s laughter: I will. Have a talk with him.

Diana: [steps in front of the 14-year-old and about to fist fight Shazam]

Batman: “maybe it’s time we tell them…”

Diana: Shazam we require a vehicle of some sort

Shazam: The thing is, I don’t exactly have a car

Flash: What?

Shazam: Or a license

Flash: Uhh

Shazam: Or a job

Flash: What??

Shazam: Or an alternate identity. Not in the ways you guys do.

Flash: ???

Shazam: I also don’t do my taxes

Flash, jumping to a conclusion: so uhhhh… do you have a place to sleep tonight? Is that a thing you need? Cause you can probably crash on my couch-

Batman, who wasn’t there five seconds ago: if anyone’s going to adopt Shazam, it will be me.

Shazam: aw, thanks! 🙂 I don’t need it, but thanks both of you for the offer!

Flash, ten hours later, wide awake in bed: okay but what SENSE did he mean “adopt” in, because I really don’t like where this is going

Yiexoudxuw YES @jackhawksmoor

Looooooool the dissonance is equally funny and horrifying.