My relationship with an Atheist.
Back in September, I met this really cute guy in my sociology class. We talked and texted a lot. It was pretty obvious that he liked me and I was starting to like him back. We went on our first date within a few weeks of meeting each other. He was the perfect gentleman. He opened doors for me, turned his phone off, he was really polite to the waiter, and I felt like I had his full attention. In my mind I thought I had found the perfect man, but when I asked him what his religious views were I was really disappointed to find out that he was an atheist.
All of my Christian friends and mentors had always stressed the importance of finding a Christian man. The bible tells us not to marry non believers, but I tried really hard to justify why it was ok for me to date this non believer. I told myself that I “needed the experience.” I told myself “it might be God’s plan. He might convert.”
I prayed about it, and asked God if I could date him. God was silent. I was so confused. God usually always answers me, but for weeks there was just silence.
I got really angry, and I remember thinking,
“Ok God, if you’re not going to talk to me, I’m going to take matters into my own hands.”
I continued to go on dates with the guy, and the more I learned about him, the more I liked him. We eventually got into a serious relationship. It was about the time that he asked me to be his girlfriend, when I noticed my relationship with God was becoming more distant. My prayers weren’t as alert as they once were and it had become very easy for me to put off reading my bible, which at one point, was one of my strongest passions.
I knew he wasn’t a Christian, so I tried to avoid religious conversations, but they always came up. He told me that evolution disproves God, and Christianity is man made. I tried really hard to defend my faith, but he was much smarter than me and always had an objection that I couldn’t answer to. I decided to look past it,
Our relationship started becoming more physical. We spent a lot of our time together making out. When we first got into a relationship, I told him I’m saving myself for marriage. He told me he was alright with that, but every time we made out, things would escalate. Making out in his kitchen turned to making out on his couch which turned to making out on his bed. His hands were everywhere. He touched me in places I didn’t want to be touched, and I had to repeatedly say no before he’d stop. That worried me. I didn’t want to be pushed any further.
It seemed that the stronger and more passionate my relationship got with my boyfriend, the weaker my relationship got with God. I realized that, earlier, when I asked God if I could be in a relationship with this non believer, that his silence was actually an answer. And his answer was no. If my boyfriend was getting in the way of my spiritual life, I couldn’t be in the relationship.
I knew I needed to break up with him. It was so difficult because there were so many things I loved about him.
I loved his intelligence.
I loved his sense of humor.
I loved his gentleness.
I loved our late night phone conversations.
I loved how responsible he was.
I loved how straight forward he was.
I loved how safe I felt with him.
Though he had so many amazing qualities, he was missing the most important qualities I now value in a man. I knew that if I let our relationship continue,
He would never pray with me.
He would never read the bible with me.
He would never understand my Christian life style.
He would never bring me closer to God.
I decided to meet up with him for lunch before work to break up with him, but just before I could start the awkward break up conversation, he pulls out a box and gives it to me. He had bought me earnings as an early Christmas present. He was going to Virginia to visit family over Christmas break, and wanted to give me my present early. I couldn’t bring myself to break up with him after that. I realized that not only I had to endure this relationship, but I had to get him a Christmas present…
I talked to God and told him that I’ll break up with him, but not right after Christmas. I figured it would be socially appropriate to wait a month after Christmas. That’s when I came across this verse.
“We must quickly carry out the tasks assigned by the one who sent us.” John 9:4
God had a task for me, and I knew that I needed to carry it out, and I needed to do it quickly.
And that brings me to today. My boyfriend is coming home from Virginia in two days, and when he comes back I need to break up with him. I was going to let the relationship coast to save myself the embarrassment of taking his gift and then breaking up with him, but all because he gave me something doesn’t mean I’m obligated to stay with him or give him a gift back.
I am in need of prayers, I didn’t have the courage to break up with him the first time, and I’m scared that I won’t have the courage to do it this time. Please pray that I have strength to do this. I’m tired of this wall between God and I, and I know that once I break up with my boyfriend I will also break the wall that’s come between me and my Father.
I’ve always told myself that I want a Christian man, but until now I’ve never fully understood just how vital it was. I now understand why God wants believers to be with other believers. My desire for a godly relationship has never been so strong.
Do it.
And just because he can make an argument for atheism that you can’t personally respond to doesn’t make him “smarter” than you. Atheists love to make these little nitpicky points about things like evolution and what they think are contradictions in the Bible. Any off the street layman can make these arguments (as they are often merely repeated from other atheist sources), but it often takes an expert to respond to them.
If he honestly believes that evolution disproves the existence of God, he doesn’t sound very smart at all.
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