clinical-manners:

esotericecology:

normal-horoscopes:

theforesteyemuseum:

esotericecology:

i absolutely adore how this makes absolutely no fucking sense thank you king give me nothing

~ My favorite build is swiss, high elemental defense but low physical defence with a decent attack. It works well for most encounters. ~

I play manchego for the melee damage and nothing else

okay so after reading the wiki for 17 hours i think i’ve solidly settled on a massive theorycraft potential that might change the meta: namely, the existence of asiago tribal as a dedicated counter against swiss-splash, which currently rules the meta.

the problem right now in the state of the game is that swiss even as a side dish is insanely overpowered, not in how overpowered it is, but how it slots itself into every goddamn charcuterie board and manages to elevate it to new heights just by existing with maybe five slices. and it’s accessible, too–usually game design for this sort of thing requires such a card to be gated behind rare, or at least uncommon, but swiss is a default card-type.

i don’t know if this was intended, frankly, but it’s stagnated the meta since its discovery that splashing swiss onto the charcuterie board buffs the entire flavor profile of the game, even with merely average or subpar boardmates like pepperjack or mid-tier canned black olives. this isn’t even beginning to discuss the problem of the highest tiers of play splashing into basic swiss–that pomegranate hummus and jamon iberico and lavender honey, already potent ingredients on their own, can be elevated so easily is cheapening board design and creating a stale meta state.

but asiago? poor, minmaxed asiago, relegated to D-tier due to its RNG quality? sure, a 50% chance every game to give the enemy commander ‘debuff: smells like baby barf’ is no laughing matter, but it’s impractical in a competitive standpoint. at pro-play levels, a coinflip isn’t good enough. consistency is king. asiago lives as a noob trap in lower echelons of casual play, and it should be, because any higher relevancy would tip the scales too far and make it a must-pick at common.

but. but. everyone is splashing into swiss for its passive Renaissance Enlightenment, which let me remind you buffs the entire boardstate by 50%. this is intended to be balanced because it is not merely a personal buff, which turns it into a game of who has the better charcuterie board as a whole and on a technical level, but in pro-play it’s become a must-have solely because not having swiss is considered to be a shot to your own foot.

so maybe you can see where asiago might come in. with everyone and their mother playing early-game swiss-snowballing, everyone’s forgotten about the dangers of the baby barf debuff. and asiago with swiss on the board turns into a guarantee that your opponent is stuck with the debuff for the rest of the game, because the percentage for swiss is considered additive, not multiplicative percentage.

i’ve been experimenting in the open charcuterie beta servers and been having massive success with asiago-bleu tribal; these cheeses tend to have good synergy, and bleu cheese loves to abuse debuffs to cause even more charcuterie boardstate havoc with its Crumbling Stench tribal ability, taking down even the hardiest of cheddars over time.

in essence: swiss is way too OP and so everyone’s fucking using it, counter it with asiago to turn any match in your favor by ambushing their palate with it post-swiss or by controlling the pacing by starting off the buffet with a Pressato variant-opener.

If you ever want to be a dick, you can always use the American Smother technique.

With careful planning and a few Salami Sacrifices, you can turn your opponent’s side into a complete disaster, netting you a win at the cost of your dignity.