staff:

Hi! We’re introducing Important Blue Internet Checkmarks here on Tumblr. They’re a steal at $7.99—that’s cheaper than some other places, when you consider that you get not one but TWO checkmarks for your blog on web only (for now). Why, you ask? Why not? Nothing matters! ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Get yours here!

This is a great way to paint a target on your own back for RUTHLESS MOCKERY. It’ll be like open season if enough people get these.