Hlootoo's Art

yourplayersaidwhat:

[context: we are trapped in a saw-like murder dungeon with 8 strangers, and accidentally killed the most immoral person before we were supposed to. Once you advance to the next room you can’t go back or you die.]

DM: As you enter the room, you suddenly notice that you can’t hear. Everyone else seems to be deafened as well, and you see inscribed on the wall: NO VOICE OR SOUND HERE CAN BE HEARD, YOU MUST DECIDE WHO GETS MURDERED
Next to it, there is a chute labeled “trash”, with traces of blood around the edge. You assume this must be where the body is deposited.

Cleric (me), OOC: Shit, did anyone bring any jewels? I wonder if I can get away with Revivify …

[Cleric and barbarian discuss OOC how to get through room with least damage. While they do that …]

Rogue: I want to tell the Funniest Joke in the World! (Learned from Book of Vile Darkness)

DM: Ok, but everybody’s deafened, so it’ll only affect you. You do realize that, right?

Rogue: Yep! [tells joke]

While everyone else in the room was trying to silently discuss the fact that one of them was going to have to die, the rogue proceeded to roll nothing above an 8 on the d20, miserably failing a long suite of Constitution saves. Finally …

Rogue: (down about 20 hp by this point) Oh shit. That’s a nat one.

DM: Ok, [rogue’s player], don’t freak out, I promise I have plans. *sharp intake of breath* Rogue, as you laugh you feel your throat close up and you can’t breathe. Everyone else in the room sees your face go purple as you pass out on the floor. [Doctor NPC] comes over and checks your pulse, but you are already dead. He looks questioningly at the group.

Cleric, barbarian: *nod approvingly*

DM: The NPCs carry the convenient new corpse to the trash chute. The door clicks.

In character, everyone was very confused but somewhat relived, OOC we were all dying. The rogue literally killed himself by laughing at his own joke.